


Wonderful life

by f_lero



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Chaptered, Complete, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-06
Updated: 2012-11-06
Packaged: 2017-11-18 03:14:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/556265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/f_lero/pseuds/f_lero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt is just so tired of everything and is just about to give up when a certain someone finds him.fl</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title belongs to Hurts. Mentions of unrequited Kurtofsky and non-con. Suicidal thoughts and an almost-attempt, possible triggers.

He stares at the cold-looking, dark water, not even bothering to stop his tears from falling. He leans on the railing, biting his lip.

Kurt can't go back, he just can't. Who knows what Karofsky can do? There's no way to know what is going on in that kid's head. No way to know how violent he can possibly get when pissed off, not to mention the fact he's apparently a closeted gay and attracted to Kurt. The looks, the touches, the  _kiss…_ Who knows how far he's ready to go to get what he wants?

Kurt lives in constant fear, flinching at school when he turns around the corner, jumping when he hears someone slam a locker door.

Even at home, where he's supposed to be safe, he's scared. He hasn't told anyone about the threat, and he sure as hell ain't gonna tell anyone about the dark figure he saw standing outside their house the other night. He has no proof that it was Karofsky, and his dad worries about him enough as it is, he's sick, and Kurt can't bear the thought of risking his health and causing him more trouble.

So he's all alone with his fear. He tries not to let it show, and he hasn't admitted it to anyone else but himself, but he is so damn terrified, all the time. He avoids being alone as much as possible, because he wants to believe Karofsky wouldn't do anything around other people. Kurt never walks long distances alone, he always keeps his phone with him and at school he always avoids empty hallways.

Nothing worse has happened yet, but the constant fear and having to always watch over his shoulder is starting to take its toll. He's stressed, he manages his homework but he's pretty much lost his appetite ad he's losing weight, he cries himself to sleep every night but is still tired. He never sleeps much at night. It takes him forever to fall asleep, and when he finally does, he's having awful nightmares about Karofsky and after waking up in cold sweat and crying, he doesn't want to fall asleep anymore, so he stays up until his alarm clock goes off.

He manages to keep up his usual self, so no one notices anything when he flashes a fake smile in the morning or complains to Mercedes about another horrible costume choice of Rachel's in Glee Club.

But he's so  _tired._  Tired of keeping up the happy, sassy front, tired of being afraid, tired on pretending he's okay when he most certainly isn't.

So that's how he ends up on that bridge, staring over the railing, teary-eyed.

Kurt's used to bullying, it's been happening pretty much his whole life. Ever since he was a 5-year-old boy playing alone in the sandbox, because no one wanted to play with him. He was too girly to play with the other boys, but he  _was_ still a boy, so the girls didn't want to play with him, either. So he rarely went out, but when he did, he usually just played by himself or with his mom or dad.

When he went to school, the bullying got worse. Name calling, pushing him around, just plain ignoring and leaving him out, making him feel like he didn't belong. His mom dying made it all feel even worse, when she wasn't there singing to him every night anymore, being there to cry on her shoulder. Kurt had his loving dad, yes, but it really wasn't the same and Kurt felt so alone.

In high school the slushie facials and dumpster tosses started. The name calling got worse, too, and after the first time he was called a fag, he came home crying. After that he forced himself to build a shield and get used to all that crap despite it still hurting.

His crush on Finn didn't help, either. The dumpster tosses felt even worse when he was with them, not doing anything to stop it despite claiming to be his friend, at least some sort of. At least they were in the Glee Club together, that should've count, right?

Seeing Finn with Quinn and Rachel was pure agony, knowing he could never have a chance with him, but he did his best to hide his feelings. It didn't really work out, though, when Finn throw it right on his face that night in the basement, breaking Kurt's heart, shattering it in thousands of pieces. Sure, Kurt was in love with him, but was it really that horrible? Okay, he had set up their parents together to get Finn to move in with them, but it's not like he did it to get into his pants when he was asleep, he just wanted to know him better.

Luckily they managed to made up and became basically brothers, well, step-brothers, and Kurt learned to love him as one.

Then Sam happened. Kurt immediately developed a crush on him, but most of all, he thought he had found a friend. Sam was the one guy who didn't judge him and was actually even willing to sing a duet with him, but all the pressuring from Finn and his dad made Kurt let go of the idea and sing by himself. He was fabulous, obviously, but alone. The duet with Rachel comforted him, but he still couldn't shake off the thought of never finding anyone, when he couldn't even sing a duet with a guy without people telling him he was selfish for basically giving the guy a death sentence.

Then he met Blaine and everything change. Wonderful, supporting, beautiful Blaine. Finally someone who he had an immediate connection with, someone who has also been bullied for being gay, someone who supports him and encourages him and really cares about him.

It was also love at first sight. The moment their eyes met in that staircase, Kurt fell in love, his heart beating like a drum as he took the boy's hand and followed him. For the sake of their friendship, though, Kurt forced the feelings to the back of his mind.

Yes, Blaine is definitely the best friend Kurt could ask for, and he's making Kurt happier than he's ever been, just by being a part of his life, but all the feelings he has kept inside for all these year, not to mention his secret love for his best friend, and all the stuff with Karofsky, it's just all too much.

Kurt has never seriously considered suicide, not really. He has gone through hell but he's always managed to keep up the will to live and become something great. But there's only so much pain a boy can go through in his life before breaking.

" _If you tell anyone, I am gonna kill you."_

Well, Kurt hadn't told anyone, and wasn't planning to, but ending his life himself sounded so much better and keep living in this fear and heartache and misery.

There are three letters in his locker to be found next morning or whenever they go through his stuff. One for his dad, one for his friend in Glee and one for Blaine. They haven't even known each other for long, but he's been so amazing to Kurt he felt like he deserved it.

It has started to be a bit chilly and Kurt shivers in his thin coat. He looks down, knows the water's gonna be freezing but right now he really doesn't care.

He swallows as he lifts his left leg over the railing. He lifts the other one too, getting up on the railing, sitting there and staring at the water.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Kurt turns to look who's talking, only to see a terrified Blaine.  _No, no no no no no this is so not how this is supposed to go! Blaine is not supposed to be here, he is supposed to be at home practicing Katy Perry or whatever and to get a call tomorrow, too late to do anything. What the hell is he even doing here, anyway? No one ever goes here._

"I could ask you the same", Kurt manages to say, his voice quivering.

"Wanted to get away from my parents for a while, and it doesn't even matter. What are you doing up there?" Blaine asks, walking closer and Kurt is staring to panic.

"Nothing, enjoying the view." He knows Blaine doesn't believe him.

"The hell you are", the boy says and Kurt shifts uncomfortably. "You're not gonna jump, are you?"

"What if I am?" Kurt snaps. "There's nothing you can do about it."

"Kurt, get the fuck down", Blaine demands, sounding both angry and frightened and Kurt startles because he was never heard Blaine swear.

"No. I don't wanna do this anymore. I can't, I won't, and I'm doing this, Blaine." He looks down at the water and swallows, then turns back to look at Blaine, who is getting uncomfortably close.

"Kurt, don't."

"Don't come closer!" Kurt shouts and Blaine freezes. "Don't come closer or I swear I will jump!"

"Kurt, please! I don't understand why you're doing this."

"Because life just sucks, okay? I just don't wanna be here anymore. It hurts too much."

"Has something happened?"

"No. Nothing happened, okay? Just leave me alone." Kurt is starting to get angry, why is Blaine doing this, why can't he just go?

"I'm not going anywhere. I care about you, Kurt. Please don't do this, just talk to me, please", Blaine begs and Kurt can see tears in his eyes, making his own eyes burn, too.

"Fine. You wanna know what happened? Karofsky fucking happened", he yells, startling Blaine. "He said he's gonna kill me, so might as well save him the trouble."

"Wait, what? He threatened to kill you?" Blaine asks, eyes widened. "When?"

"A couple weeks ago", Kurt shrugs, biting his lip.

" _What?_  Why didn't you tell me? Did you tell  _anyone?_ "

"I didn't wanna worry anyone. I've cause enough trouble already", Kurt says so quietly it's almost a whisper.

"Oh, Kurt", Blaine sighs and Kurt doesn't even notice he gets closer until he feels a hand on his shoulder. He doesn't shrug it away.

"I just can't do this anymore, Blaine. I can't. He keeps giving me these looks and touching me when no one notices and I'm living in constant fear, not knowing what he's gonna do next. I'm just so tired of it, Blaine, tired of  _everything_ ", he whispers, blinking rapidly away his tears.

"Please don't do this", Blaine says quietly, his voice quivering. "I care about you too much to let you go. We can get through this together, Kurt. I know we can. I'm always gonna be there for you, no matter what. I promise. Just please, please get down."

Kurt looks up, staring at those teary hazel eyes, begging him not to do this.

"I'm just so scared", he whispers.

"I know. I am too. But don't do this, Kurt. If not for you, for me. If you jump, you're not just killing yourself, you're killing me, too."

"Can't I just be selfish, just for once?"

"Please, Kurt. I need you here. You saved my life", Blaine says and Kurt looks at him, surprised.

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't told you this, but I was beaten up a couple years ago. Badly. That's why I transferred to Dalton."

"I'm sorry", Kurt says and Blaine shakes his head.

"I love Dalton because I know I'm safe there and I have great friends there, but the beating really got me down. I was really depressed and having nightmares and I went to therapy and was on medication." He takes a small pause and Kurt tried to hold back tears. "Dalton's all about fitting in, being like everyone else. No one really sticks out, and I got used to it, but sometimes it was really devastating, keeping everything inside.

"My parents are another thing. They never truly accepted me, as you know." Kurt nods. "They tolerate me and act like we're a happy family, but I know that on the inside they're wondering what have they done wrong, having a fag as a son."

"I'm sorry", Kurt whispers again.

"Then I met you." Blaine's lips curve into a small smile. "When I saw you in that staircase, you blew my mind. Meeting someone like you, as unique, flamboyant, open and brave, it just saved me, Kurt. I made me think that if there actually is someone like you, that if that person is a part of my life, maybe I'll make it, too." Kurt blushes slightly.

"I'm not brave, Blaine. Don't you see what I'm about to do?" he whispers.

"There's only so much courage one can have", Blaine shakes his head. "And you've had it more than anyone I've ever met. I'm just asking you to have a little bit more courage, Kurt. Just a little bit more to get down. For me, Kurt. Please." He holds out his hand. Kurt glanced between it and Blaine's eyes hesitantly, but eventually take the hand and gets down. Blaine immediately pulls him into a tight hug and Kurt hugs him back.

After a while they pull away. Blaine wipes away his tears on his sleeve and smiles slightly.

"Don't ever do that again", he says and Kurt smiles, too, wiping away his tears.

"I promise, as long as you're not going anywhere."

"Never."

They just stare at each other for a while, studying each other's expressions, until please decides to open his mouth.

"I love you", he says and Kurt blinks.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I love you", Blaine repeats and smiles, lifting his finger to Kurt's face to wipe away a tear.

"Like, platonically, or…?" Kurt asks, trying convince himself that  _no, this is not happening,_ because Blaine can't possibly love him as more that a friend, right?

"No", Blaine shakes his head, letting out a small laugh. "I  _love_  you, as in if you let me, I wanna date you and kiss you and make you realize how amazing you are."

"Really?" Kurt swallows a lump in his throat.  _What even, is this really happening?_

"Really. I love you, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel. Don't you ever forget that", Blaine says, grabbing Kurt's hips, pulling the boy closer. He never moves his eyes from Kurt's, the hazels staring lovingly at the glistening glass ones.

"I love you too", Kurt manages to whisper before he grabs Blaine's shirt and breaks into tears. Blaine wraps his arms tighter around the crying boy, holds him close and whispers "I love you" in his ear over and over again.

Kurt feels more tired and weaker with every sob, he barely manages to keep his balance as he shakes with his sobs and struggles not to let his knees fail him.

Blaine just holds to boy tightly, his heart breaking at the broken boy in his arms.

"I love you", he keeps whispering, caressing Kurt's back softly. "I love you."

After what seems like hours, Kurt runs out of tears to cry and just sniffs quietly onto Blaine's shirt. Blaine doesn't care that his shirts is all wet, he just holds the boy until he looks up and forms a small, quivering smile.

"I love you", Kurt says, staring right ad Blaine's eyes and Blaine can see how much he means it.

"I know", he replies, smiling, still caressing Kurt's back. "I love you too."

Kurt tilts his head slightly, gaze wondering over Blaine's face, eyes stopping at this lips more than once. This doesn't go unnoticed by Blaine, but he does nothing, he waits for Kurt do to the first move, for it to be up to him.

Kurt decides that right now he wants nothing more than to be closer to Blaine, and he leans closer and softly presses his lips onto Blaine's.

The touch is light and barely existing, but it's there and it's perfect. It's soft and gentle, and Blaine smiles against Kurt's lips as he happily returns the kiss.

Kurt wraps his arms around Blaine's neck, pulling the boy closer. They slightly deepen the kiss, but not too much, because this is their first kiss and it's not meant to lead to anything, its only purpose is to express their love and affection for each other, to be close to each other and feel the warmth and comfort.

Kurt parts his lips slightly, kissing Blaine's upper lip, loving the feeling of the boy so close to him.

Blaine, on his part, has his heart beating faster than it's probably healthy because  _oh my god they're kissing and wow_ and he doesn't care about anything else but the beautiful boy kissing him.

Kurt pulls away soon, slowly, and smiles, a bit sadly, Blaine notices.

"That's how my first kiss should have been like", Kurt whispers and lowers his gaze but never lets go of Blaine.

Blaine lifts his hand onto Kurt's neck, caressing the back of his ear with his thumb, and pulls him closer. He doesn't really know what to say, because Kurt is right and it's so unfair that something as precious and personal as his first kiss was stolen from him by that Neanderthal, just like that. So Blaine doesn't say anything, he just presses a kiss on the boy's forehead and holds him.

After a while Kurt looks up and Blaine is once again stunned by his beautiful eyes. They're red and puffy but Blaine can see that sparkle attempting to come back and they're so, so beautiful.

"Thank you", Kurt says and smiles.

"For what?"

"For everything", he shrugs. "For always being there for me. For saving my life. For loving me." His voice breaks a bit at the last part and he lowers his gaze again, and Blaine realized Kurt's obviously not used to being loved, especially so openly, and it breaks his heart. He lifts Kurt chin up and looks into his eyes intensely.

"Hey", he says softly. "You don't ever have to thank me for loving you. You deserve every bit of love and affection and absolutely everything I have to give, okay? You are the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful, talented, incredible and the most lovable person I have ever met. And all those people giving you hell because of who you are, they know nothing and don't deserve to even know you." Kurt blinks away a few tears but never lets his eyes leave Blaine's. His heart is beating so fast he's sure it's about to bump right out of his chest. "You are amazing, Kurt. And if they don't realize that, it's their loss. Do you understand?" Blaine smiles at the look on Kurt's face. The boy swallows and nods, smiling.

"Okay. Yeah. Okay."

"Good." Blaine presses one more kiss on Kurt's forehead before he pulls away. He holds out his hand. "Now let's get you home, shall we?" Kurt nods again and takes Blaine's hand. He follows him to Kurt's car, since Blaine doesn't have his, and hesitates.

"Should I drop you home, or…?" he asks but Blaine shakes his head.

"Don't worry about it. You're not driving, so I'll just drive you home and take a bus."

""But…" Kurt's starts to protest but Blaine holds out his hand as a sign to stop talking.

"It's fine, Kurt. I just want you to get home safely. I'll be fine."

"If you're sure…" Kurt mutters and Blaine smiles.

"I'm sure. Now let's go." He opens the door for Kurt who mutters a quiet "thanks", sitting down, and sits himself behind the steering wheel.

He starts the car and turns to smile at Kurt, who can't help but smile back. He has never felt so loved, and for a while he wonders if there after all is a God who has sent this angel to him.

The drive back to Kurt's house goes quickly, in silence, but neither of them mind, occasionally glancing at each other and smiling.

And before he even notices, Kurt is standing at his front door, holding Blaine's hand.

"Thanks", he says, smiling. Blaine smiles back.

"Call me or text me whenever you feel like it. I don't care if it's four in the morning or in the middle of a school day or in the middle of the night, I'm always there for you, okay?" Kurt nods.

"Goodnight, Blaine", he says and his smile widens as Blaine presses a quick, gentle kiss on his lips.

"Night, Kurt. And remember,  _courage._ " Kurt lets out a small laugh.

"I love you."

"I love you too." Blaine presses one more kiss on Kurt's forehead before he heads towards to nearby bus stop. He turns around and stops to wave and Kurt, who waves back, smiling.

Soon the boy is out of sight and Kurt heads inside.

That night, for the first time in years, Kurt is still smiling when he falls asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song used in this chapter is Wonderful Life by Hurts.

When Kurt wakes up the next morning, he's feeling sick. He's not sure how, he's not fevery or anything so it's not flue. But he's feeling nauseas and his head is aching and he just wants to go back to sleep and never wake up.

"Kurt, are you ready yet?" Carole frowns as she comes in, seeing Kurt still in his bed. "Oh, honey, you don't look so well. I think you should probably stay home today." Kurt just nods and closes his eyes.

"Your dad left for work already and I'm about to go, too, but call if you need anything."

Kurt hears Carole leave and soon drifts back into unconsciousness.

* * *

When Kurt wakes up again, he immediately hears his phone ringing. That must have woken him up.

" _You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream…"_

Kurt sighs. Blaine. Who else. He sits up and curses at the dizziness, just sitting there for a moment, holding his head, but finally grabs his phone and answers.

"Hey", he croaks and coughs.

" _Hey, Kurt. Are you okay?"_ Blaine sounds worried.

"I'm fine", Kurt just says and gets up, heading to the bathroom and gets himself a glass of water. After drinking it, he feels better.

" _I'm guessing you're at home?"_

"Yeah, why?"

" _Can I come over?"_

"Umm, sure. When?"

" _Now?"_

"…Now? How soon will you be here?"

" _About ten minutes."_

" _Ten minutes?_  Are you kidding me?" Kurt shrieks and hears Blaine let out a laugh. "Shut up, Anderson."

" _Kurt, whatever you wear or how your hair looks or whatever, you look beautiful"_ , Blaine assures and Kurt blushes.

"Fine. I'll see you in ten", he agrees and he can actually hear the smile in Blaine's voice.

" _Great. I'll see you then!"_

"See you."

They hang up and Kurt panics.  _Ten minutes?_  He runs back to his room, quickly chooses a red Alexander McQueen sweater and white skinny jeans and storms back to the bathroom.

He decides to take a quick shower, as quick as he can, anyway, but as he's trying to blow his hair dry, he already hears the doorbell ring. Cursing, he pulls on his clothes while running downstairs, almost tripping in the stairs. He rushes to the door, stopping for a second to look in the mirror and straighten his clothes before he opens the door.

"Hi", he breaths and smiles.

"Hey", Blaine replies and steps closer, pressing his lips onto Kurt's. The countertenor goes limp for a second, surprised but pleasantly so, at the small touch, before he realizes to answer the kiss. He moans softly as he tastes Blaine and his tongue in his mouth and  _wow_ , he had no idea French kissing was  _this good._  Why don't people do it all the time?

After a while they break apart, both breathing heavily.

"Hi", Kurt breaths again, cheeks flushed and lips swollen, but eyes sparkling brightly and a wide smile on his face.

"Hi", Blaine smiles and lets out a laugh. "That was…"

"Yeah", Kurt grins and steps aside to let Blaine in. "Come in."

Blaine obliges and Kurt closes the door behind him before heading to the kitchen.

"Coffee?"

"Yes, please."

Kurt quickly sets up the coffee maker and turns to Blaine.

"So, what are you doing here?"

Blaine shrugs. "Just wanted to see you. Make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine", Kurt smiles and takes Blaine's hand. "Burt aren't you supposed to be at school?"

"I could ask you the same."

"Didn't really feel like it", Kurt says quietly, his smile fading as he lowers his gaze.

"Me neither. I'd much rather spend my day with you", Blaine says and Kurt looks up, lips curling upwards at his smiling boyfriend.  _Boyfriend._ That's what they were now, right? His smile widens a bit just at the though.  _Boyfriends._  He pulls the shorter boy into a tight hug and closes his eyes, breathing in the calming, sweet scent that's so  _Blaine_. He can't quite tell what he smells like, but he loves it.

Blaine caresses his back softly, until they both startle and break apart as the coffee makes starts to beep, informing them that the coffee is ready.

Kurt presses a quick kiss onto Blaine's cheek and hurries to get two cups, filling them up. He puts some milk and sugar on the table and they sit down to drink their coffee in comfortable silence, just looking at each other, occasionally flashing a small smile.

"So", Blaine breaks the silence after a while, placing his cup onto the table. "You have a piano, right?"

Kurt raises an eyebrow. "Yeah, why?"

"I have prepared a small number for you", Blaine smirks and gets up.

"Wait, what?" Kurt is surprised and quickly follows his boyfriend, who's already heading upstairs. "Blaine!"

When they get to his room, Blaine turns to him.

"Sit", he says and gestures towards Kurt's bed. The boy obliges, eyes wide as he watches the other boy stretch his fingers and sit to the piano, facing him.

"Blaine…" Kurt starts but doesn't quite know what to say. No one has ever sang to him, well, except for Mercedes, when his father had a heart attack, and while it was beautiful, it doesn't really count, since she's his best friend and his father was dying.

But now, the boy who loves and actually – Kurt's heart makes an extra beat – loves him  _back_ , is about to sing to him and  _what even?_

"Just listen", Blaine says and smiles at him. Kurt manages to smile back and watches Blaine lower his gaze back to the keys. He listens closely as the boy stretches his fingers again and starts to play a song Kurt doesn't recognize.

" _On a bridge across the Severn on a Saturday night_  
Susie meets the man of her dreams  
He says that got in trouble and if she doesn't mind  
He doesn't want the company", Blaine sings and Kurt's listens in awe to the boy' beautiful voice, closing his eyes and listening to the lyrics.

" _But there's something in the air_  
They share a look in silence, and everything is understood  
And Susie grabs the man and puts a grip on his hand  
As the rain puts a tear in his eye."

Suddenly the melody fastens slightly and sounds somehow… stronger, Kurt doesn't even know but he likes it and he opens his eyes to see Blaine moving in his chair fiercely as he plays, completely lost in the music.

" _She says_  
Don't let go  
Never give up  
It's such a wonderful life  
Don't let go  
Never give up  
It's such a wonderful life."

The tempo slows down a bit, Blaine calming and just slightly swaying as he plays. Kurt closes his eyes again to fully focus on the beautiful sounds.

" _Driving through the city to the Temple Station_  
He cries into the leather seat  
And Susie knows her baby was a family man  
But the world has got him down on his knees

 _So she throws him at the wall, her kisses burn like fire_  
And suddenly he starts to believe  
And he takes her in his arms and he doesn't know why  
But he thinks that he begins to see."

Blaine keeps singing and Kurt doesn't know what to say or what to do. He  _feels_  the music and what Blaine tries to say and he feels so deep inside all the love and pain and sadness and affection in Blaine's voice and he feels it too and he feels like his heart is about to burst right out of his chest. He keeps his eyes closed but doesn't bother to stop his tears from falling. The song is so  _beautiful_ and Blaine's voice is just something indescribable and it's so full of emotion and Kurt is just so damn  _moved_  and he just wants to go there and kiss Blaine senseless but he doesn't want to interrupt him, so he just sits there and listens.

" _She says_  
Don't let go  
Never give up  
It's just a wonderful life  
Don't let go-oh  
Never give up  
It's just a wonderful life  
Don't let go-o-oh  
Never give up  
It's just a wonderful life."

Blaine breaths deeply as he takes a break from singing, his fingers smoothly moving on the keys as he keeps playing and Kurt just listens in awe, eyes still closed.

" _Ooooh  
Ooooh", _Blaine opens his mouth again, singing perfectly in tune with the melody.

 _Ooooh_  
Ooooh  
She says  
Don't let go" , he tones down the music a bit so it's barely there.

" _Never give up_  
Don't let go  
Never give up  
It's such a wonderful life."

He fastens the tempo a bit as he starts sort of echoing himself, lowering his voice.

" _Wonderful life_  
Wonderful life  
Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful life  
Wonderful life  
Wonderful life  
Wonderful, wonderful life…"

The music gets slowly quieter again.

" _Don't let go  
Don't let go"_, Blaine sings and finally the music fades away, leaving the two boys in silence.

Blaine looks up, Kurt sits on his bed, eyes closed and face wet with tears.

"Oh, Kurt", Blaine sighs and walks up to him, caressing his cheek softly, wiping away his tears. Kurt opens his swollen eyes and suddenly just pulls Blaine closer, crashing their lips in a passionate kiss. Blaine makes a muffed sound into Kurt's mouth as they press their lips more fiercely together, sort of desperately but also with so much passion and love. It's basically just all teeth and tongue but Kurt doesn't care, he just needs to feel Blaine and his hands are all over Blaine's back and neck as he pulls him towards himself, his tongue caressing every inch of Blaine's mouth as he sucks his lower lip.

Blaine, on his part, doesn't stop him, just lets the boy do whatever he wants because  _wow, he's good_ and  _when did it get so hot in here?_

Kurt grabs Blaine's waist and lies on the bed, pulling him on top of him. He's moaning and groaning and making all kinds of noises he probably wouldn't be exactly proud of if he even acknowledged them, but right now he's too busy feeling Blaine to care or even notice.

He lowers his hands to Blaine's ass, squeezing slightly and grins against his mouth as the boy let's out a small whimper.

It's starting to get really,  _really_ hot in there and Kurt kind of automatically moves his hands to the buttons of Blaine's shirt, starting to open them, and Blaine doesn't resist but instead starts to unbutton Kurt's shirt, even though the still barely sensible part of his brain is telling him that  _no, no, no, stop it right there, you're not ready and Kurt's not ready so stop stop STOP_ , but he's too caught in the moment and Kurt feels so good and how the hell is he supposed to stop?

And before they even notice, they're both shirtless and Blaine is on top of Kurt and kissing and biting and sucking his neck and chest and Kurt is making all kinds of noises. It's turning Blaine on even more and  _this is the best thing even oh my god_ and his jeans are super uncomfortable and their crotches kind of grind together and they can feel each other's hard-ons and and Blaine moves his hand to Kurt's hips and opens the button of his jeans and Kurt hears the small bop and suddenly his eyes snap open and he realizes what's happening and he freaks out because  _no no no no no this is too much._ He startles visibly and sits up and Blaine disconnects his mouth and Kurt's skin and frowns at the frightened, wide-eyed look on his boyfriend's face.

"What's wrong?" he asks, even though he deep inside kind of knows they were moving  _way_ too fast. Kurt just shakes his head rapidly, opening and closing his mouth like a fish on land. He's panicking and he doesn't know what to say and he knows he shouldn't be freaking out like this because it's  _Blaine_ and he  _loves_  him but he can't help it, he's starting to hyperventilate and Blaine looks terrified but Kurt is unable to say anything to assure him that everything is fine because it's  _not_ fine and he quickly gets up and rushes to the bathroom, locking the door, leaving a confused, scared Blaine behind him.

Blaine just sits there for a moment, staring at the closed door.  _What the hell did just happen?_ He gets up and slowly walks to the door. He hears sobbing and he knocks the door.

"Kurt? Let me in. Please." He gets no answer, just more sobbing.

"Kurt, please. I'm sorry, I know we were moving too fast, I'm so, so sorry. Please, just open the door. I love you. Please."

Blaine doesn't know what to do. He knows he pushed him too much and now Kurt's hurt and scared and it's all his fault and he's the worst boyfriend in the history of ever and…

He stops his musings as he hears a click and he moves so Kurt can open the door. The boy looks at him with his red, puffy eyes, biting his lip.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to push you or anything, I just –" Blaine starts babbling but is interrupted by a pair of lips on his.

"It's not your fault", Kurt assures after quickly breaking the kiss. "Stop blaming yourself. It's not you, it's me." He lets out a small, humourless laugh that turns into a sob. Blaine pulls him into a hug and Kurt leans on his shoulder, letting out a small hiccup.

"I'm sorry", he says as Blaine caresses his back. "I should've not freaked out. It's just… Sometimes I just wonder how much further Karofsky is willing to go and I just… I'm just scared."

Blaine lifts Kurt's chin up, looking into his blue eyes, worried.

"I knew it was you, I did", Kurt hurries to explain, "I don't know why I freaked out like that. Sometimes he just creeps into my mind and I  _hate_ it." He bites his lip not to burst out crying again. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay", Blaine shushes him, smiling slightly. "I've got you, okay? He's not gonna hurt you, I'm here for you and I'm gonna protect you. Okay?"

Kurt nods and smiles. He knows it's physically impossible for Blaine to be always there to protect him, but he knows Blaine is gonna do his best and he's never gonna leave him and that's enough.

"I love you", he whispers.

"I love you too", Blaine smiles, caressing the behind of Kurt's ear with his thumb. "I love you."

Kurt presses his lips onto Blaine's and the other boy returns the kiss, pulling Kurt slightly closer. They just kiss, it's not meant to lead to anything else, it's simply just because they wanna be close for comfort and love.

"Let's go watch a movie", Blaine says after a while. "You can pick." Kurt grins and grabs his boyfriend's hand, leading him towards the stairs.

* * *

When Finn comes home a few hours later, he smiles as he sees the two boys pressed against each other, Kurt almost on Blaine's lap, both fast asleep, smiles on their face.


End file.
